Geekgirl611’s Weblog

Ron_Hudson on Twitter posed the question.

What’s life about for you, ultimately?

Knee-jerk reaction would be to answer with fun, family and happiness.

But then I think about it. Is life really always fun? Are all of the moments in your life that stick out in your memory fun? I don’t know about you, my friend, but for me the answer is an adamant no. Same applies for the other two answers.

So, as cliché as this may sound, I think it’s love. Don’t misunderstand me, don’t write me off just yet as an individual with no thoughts of her own. I’m not referring simply to the sappy, over-commercialized romance kind of love we all do seek, but I’m talking about the love you have for family, pets, friends (cyber or IRL), your house, songs, books, movies, anything.

I guess if I had to use one word to describe life, my one word would be this: emotion.

Emotion encompasses everything we do. Emotion is what drives us, what makes our choices. I don’t care how much you think you make choices logically, somewhere emotion affects it. No one has led their entire life by logic alone. It’s impossible. It’s improbable.

And furthermore, who would want to? Logic may lead you to pick out a book, but emotion decides whether you like it or not. Logic may decide what medical procedure you choose, but emotion rules your body. It’s scientifically proven that emotions have a physical effect on our body. People who lead stressful lives need about twice as long for a cut to heal on their body as someone who leads a relatively calm life. Don’t believe me – go look it up – that’s why we have google. And if you DO have an urge to look it up – guess what? That’s emotion guiding you. Curiosity. One of my favorites. LOL

Some of the most prominent memories in a person’s head are all emotional – A loved ones death, a graduation, a birth, a first kiss, a pet, an accomplishment, a fave book or movie, an long lost friend.

They are all about love. Emotion…

To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one’s self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived—this is to have succeeded.

- Attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson

That is my favorite quote of all time. The last line is what I attempt to live my life by. To know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived…

That is so powerful. People, I think, confuse the true sense of helping someone. People think they have to be recognized in order for it to “qualify”. Not so, my friends. Just because no one gives you an “atta boy”  or rewards you does not mean you did not help, did not contribute. If you are going to help someone, somehow, do it for the reason and purpose of just plain helping. Trust me, it’s more rewarding than you think. Self-rewarding. Don’t set your standard of self worth on what other think or how much you get noticed. Place you worth on your own opinions, knowing what you have and will do.

Some of you may be familiar with this, some may not. I wanted to share this with all of you because I think that these days, it not only applies to hackers, but to the internet generation as a whole. Please take time to read this. The end is worth it…

((Written 15 years ago by a hacker known only as The Mentor, quoted in the 1995 movie “Hackers”))

Another one got caught today, it’s all over the papers.

“Teenager Arrested in Computer Crime Scandal”, “Hacker Arrested after Bank Tampering”…

Damn kids. They’re all alike.
But did you, in your three-piece psychology and 1950’s technobrain, ever take a look behind the eyes of the hacker? Did you ever wonder what made him tick, what forces shaped him, what may have molded him?
I am a hacker, enter my world…

Mine is a world that begins with school… I’m smarter than most of the other kids, this crap they teach us bores me…

Damn underachiever. They’re all alike.

I’m in junior high or high school. I’ve listened to teachers explain for the fifteenth time how to reduce a fraction. I understand it. “No, Ms. Smith, I didn’t show my work. I did it in my head…”

Damn kid. Probably copied it. They’re all alike.

I made a discovery today. I found a computer. Wait a second, this is cool. It does what I want it to. If it makes a mistake, it’s because I screwed it up. Not because it doesn’t like me… Or feels threatened by me.. Or thinks I’m a smart ass.. Or doesn’t like teaching and shouldn’t be here…

Damn kid. All he does is play games. They’re all alike.

And then it happened… a door opened to a world… rushing through the phone line like heroin through an addict’s veins, an electronic pulse is sent out, a refuge from the day-to-day incompetencies is sought… a board is found. “This is it… this is where I belong…” I know everyone here… even if I’ve never met them, never talked to them, may never hear from them again… I know you all…

Damn kid. Tying up the phone line again. They’re all alike…

You bet your ass we’re all alike… we’ve been spoon-fed baby food at school when we hungered for steak… the bits of meat that you did let slip through were pre-chewed and tasteless. We’ve been dominated by sadists, or ignored by the apathetic. The few that had something to teach found us willing pupils, but those few are like drops of water in the desert.

This is our world now… the world of the electron and the switch, the beauty of the baud. We make use of a service already existing without paying for what could be dirt-cheap if it wasn’t run by profiteering gluttons, and you call us criminals. We explore… and you call us criminals. We seek after knowledge… and you call us criminals. We exist without skin color, without nationality, without religious bias… and you call us criminals.

You build atomic bombs, you wage wars, you murder, cheat, and lie to us and try to make us believe it’s for our own good, yet we’re the criminals.

Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like. My crime is that of outsmarting you, something that you will never forgive me for.

I am a hacker, and this is my manifesto. You may stop this individual, but you can’t stop us all… after all, we’re all alike.

When I discovered Twitter, it was love at first type. I’m hopelessly addicted.  I have Twitter, Myspace(once a day or so), Facebook (NEVER use it), and usmcwives.com (addicted to as well).

But I have been wondering some thing. I know a lot of people think of internet friendships in a similar way they look at internet relationships – not truly real.

Why not?

It does depend on how forthcoming you are on the internet, and I am not saying that ALL internet based conversations automatically make you the best of friends. However, when you DO open up to people, and converse about your personal or professional life, does that not create some kind of a bond? Some kind of friendship? There are many people I have not had the luxury of meeting face to face but I consider them dear friends. If you don’t agree, then so be it, but that is my opinion.

After all, is that not one of the reasons the internet was made public? To connect with others over vast distances?

So, to anyone who takes the time to read this, thank you, my friend.

One of things I have forgotten to put in my bio ( I will have to update it now) is that I am severely honest. Blunt even. In my opinion, political correctness is simply a new way to silence and conform the masses. I’m sorry if something I say, type, blog, think or express in any other way, shape or form offends you, but you’re an adult, act like it. Why is it, that in same century that women can walk around in clothing that hardly covers anything, and we can riot in the middle of the streets, and we can have abortions and gay marriage (I am not condoning ANY of these behaviors) but it’s “rude” to tell someone that they are freakin’ idiot!?

I think to be politically correct is to be a hypocrite. What is more important – to be be honest with one’s self, or to placate the world and hide your true thoughts and opinions so that you don’t offend anyone?

Now, the sad thing, is somebody out there is probably reading this and WOULD rather hide themselves, whether it be for fear of confrontation in case of disagreement, or whether it be for fear or hurting one’s feelings, etc. I feel sorry for them. They will never know the freedom in just being themselves.

Furthermore, when you are open to the world, many things happen. People are drawn to confidence. For the confident, it’s enjoyable to be around others that are not afraid to speak their minds and know they are not inferior to anyone. For un-confident, it is enjoyable to be around the confident because they feel they have something to learn or gain from them. Secondly, you connect with people around you that you didn’t know existed before because you were afraid to speak your mind. When you do, you learn that many others think the same way! That is how great friendships start – over minor commonalities.

I do not and will not “sugarcoat” my thoughts or opinions. My husband fights for my right to speak my mind, and you can be sure I am going to take full advantage of that. If i offend or hurt your feelings, take solace in the fact that while I am not and will not be apologetic for being purely me, I did not intend to hurt or offend anyone.

Thus, I strongly encourage to be brave, and speak your mind. Some will like it, some will not. It’s ok.

Be strong. Be YOU.

I don’t know if you have read my most recent blog entitled TO SURVIVE, or even HUMANS ARE PUZZLE PIECES, but if you have, you know how important I believe friends to be.

Well, today, with Twitters breakdown, and losing over 70 followers and 70 followings, I was frantic.

You may thinking, “Wow, she has NO life for her to be frantic over Twitter”.  *shrugs* Maybe I am. Maybe I’m not. I’m a homeschool mom of two kids, two dogs, a cat and a snake. My husband is away with the Marine Corps, so it’s me and my kids and my animals, all day every day. My two babysitters both just moved out of state, so I have NO opportunity for any time for just me, except when they are napping or off to bed for the night. And then still, I’m usually cleaning up their messes.

All that being said, Twitter, MySpace, and a USMC wives forum board, are my ONLY links to communicate with adults. Sure there’s family, but we’re not that close, and you HAVE to love family. My friends mean the world to me (cyber or IRL) because I chose them. They make me laugh, cry, smile, and relax. They inform me, educate me, enlighten me, humor me, entertain me and I’d like to think appreciate me. I mean, after all,  it’s not as if I forced myself upon them.

So, Twitter lost all my Tweeps today, and I found a few, but on the whole, I could not remember all 80 of them. Who could? So, I was very sad, I missed them. Even though some may find it stupid or silly, I have grown quite attached to my circle of friends.

And I have a confession to make. This is only going to serve to further your thoughts of thinking I am rather juvenile, but so be it. There are a few people I am following that make, draw, direct, etc comic books for Marvel and/or DC. OMG. I’m so starstruck, even over the vastness of the wonderful worldwide web. and when I randomly twitted a few of them about nonsense, and they replied… yeah, I lost it. ROFL. I called my husband and told him. What can I say – they don’t call me GeekGirl for nothing!

I believe that in order to walk through grief, fear, loneliness, despair and anger without recourse to drugs, alcohol, over-eating, over-sexing or the mind-numbing distractions provided by Western culture one must become a spiritual warrior. I further believe that the pay-off for enduring suffering, for soberly embracing the inevitable bouts of emotional pain that life brings is wisdom and serenity in the face of calamity. But make no mistake here, the path of the warrior is treacherous and cannot be walked alone. To survive, he must have brothers and sisters-in-arms to carry him when he buckles. When we lived and died in small tribes, this principle of mutually supporting one another through the trials of life was deeply woven into the fabric of the group mind. With the advent of towns and cities we were forced to live with the daily dilemma of being desperately alone and yet desperately needing one another. Which is why we are, by design, always seeking new tribes.

Inspired by Ron Hudson

What has to happen in order for you to feel extraordinarily successful as mom?

For me, it’s the little things. When we are out and a stranger says, “Wow, such great manners” or “She’s so well behaved” and especially,  “They’re so smart!”.

Things may be a little different with me than most moms seeing as I homeschool my two children (boy age three, girl age six). It still amazes me to know that I, yes me, taught her how to read, taught her to add and subtract, taught her everything she knows. That normally she would be starting first grade this year, but most of our schoolbooks are 2nd grade level at least, and that my three year old has been doing her kindergarten work for about six months.

Whether it’s with schoolwork, general responsibilities, manners, etc, seeing the proverbial light bulb switch on is amazing and worth every ounce of effort of staying home with them all day every day.

The other thing that makes my life a little different than the norm, is not only am I a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom, but though I am happily married, I often live like a single mom, because my husband is a U.S. Marine. I am beyond proud of him, and would not have it any other way, but it is indeed tough. You take for granted all those little things such as being able to go to the doctor or check the mail, or walk the dog alone because your husband is around to take care of the kids. Not now. Everything I do, everywhere I go, my kids are with me. To make it even more concrete, BOTH of my babysitters just moved out of state. Yeah, how’s that for irony?! Just when I MOST need “ME” time, there is no chance of getting it.

One of the other things that makes me feel successful as a mom is realizing that while i am indeed a mom, that’s not ALL I am. I have still held on to who I am as an individual, from the music I like to the movies I watch, to the people I talk with. (THANK GOD FOR THE INTERNET!) I am proud of myself. I am hardworking and motivated and dedicated, all the while still being me, and doing it my own way, with my own flair.

And while many people may think that having kids has hindered me following dreams or being “me”, I have to disagree and say that my kids make me more “me”. This is what I was meant for.

I think that is what makes me feel extraordinarily successful as mom; being happy that this is what I was meant for. This is all I need, all I want.

Inspired by Ron Hudson

Did you ever meet someone, man or woman, and you just felt like you “clicked”? I have. I tell my husband all the time that he is my puzzle piece, and that’s where I got this idea.

Puzzles are intricate things that are big and beautiful. Puzzles take time and effort to get to know in order to be complete. Puzzles are made of little pieces that come together under one or more commonalities. One puzzle piece can have a flower’s petal on one side, a bit of a barn on the other and the hood of a horse on the other. One tiny piece yet so varied, so on side it connects with another piece of flower, the other side, the horses hoof, etc.

Yet, there will be times when you stumble upon a piece that doesn’t belong. It just doesn’t fit. It’s got the wheel of a cart on it. A horse-drawn cart, but that connects about fifty pieces away from where you are at. Not all pieces will fit with yours. That’s ok, not all were meant to fit with yours. The thing is, in order to figure out what was on that piece, you had to look.

All people are worth looking at, taking notice of, trying to get to know. If you don’t get along, no big deal, be courteous, move on until you find someone you do. Because just like puzzles, we can not be complete all on our own. Whether it’s family or friends, we need others, other pieces, to be whole.

Inspired by Ron Hudson

Life is an adventure. I think too often people get too caught up in looking at the bigger picture, planning for the future, saving for a rainy day, that they forget to enjoy the road.

One of the most influential pieces of advice I was ever given was this:

“Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming, “Wow, what a ride!”"

Not only that, but people tend to feel victims of their own lives. While, yes, there are times when you are a victim in certain circumstances, you can not let you get that down, because then that is the path you, yourself are choosing. Take myself for an example. by the age of fifteen, I was in thirteen foster homes, nine orphanages, was adopted, and both parents passed away, putting me BACK into the system. I was abused in a bout every way you can imagine, and eventually ran away and was living on my own, working and paying rent at the age of sixteen.

Yeah, that was a really horrible way to grow up, and I was bitter for a while. But. I made the choice that the only way it was going to get better was if I made it better. Taking into consideration that all I wanted was what I never really had – a family. Now, at the age of twenty-five, I have everything I have ever wanted. a family – a husband with whom i am madly and deeply in love with, two beautiful children who amaze me every day, and two dogs to make it the complete American Dream.

Now, taking all that into consideration, imagine how amazing my life will be if I continue to choose my own paths and not let what happens to me dictate the next path I take, the next chapter in my life, the next blog I post.

My life is not only an adventure, it is my own.

What is your life?!