Geekgirl611’s Weblog

I believe that in order to walk through grief, fear, loneliness, despair and anger without recourse to drugs, alcohol, over-eating, over-sexing or the mind-numbing distractions provided by Western culture one must become a spiritual warrior. I further believe that the pay-off for enduring suffering, for soberly embracing the inevitable bouts of emotional pain that life brings is wisdom and serenity in the face of calamity. But make no mistake here, the path of the warrior is treacherous and cannot be walked alone. To survive, he must have brothers and sisters-in-arms to carry him when he buckles. When we lived and died in small tribes, this principle of mutually supporting one another through the trials of life was deeply woven into the fabric of the group mind. With the advent of towns and cities we were forced to live with the daily dilemma of being desperately alone and yet desperately needing one another. Which is why we are, by design, always seeking new tribes.

Inspired by Ron Hudson

What has to happen in order for you to feel extraordinarily successful as mom?

For me, it’s the little things. When we are out and a stranger says, “Wow, such great manners” or “She’s so well behaved” and especially,  “They’re so smart!”.

Things may be a little different with me than most moms seeing as I homeschool my two children (boy age three, girl age six). It still amazes me to know that I, yes me, taught her how to read, taught her to add and subtract, taught her everything she knows. That normally she would be starting first grade this year, but most of our schoolbooks are 2nd grade level at least, and that my three year old has been doing her kindergarten work for about six months.

Whether it’s with schoolwork, general responsibilities, manners, etc, seeing the proverbial light bulb switch on is amazing and worth every ounce of effort of staying home with them all day every day.

The other thing that makes my life a little different than the norm, is not only am I a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom, but though I am happily married, I often live like a single mom, because my husband is a U.S. Marine. I am beyond proud of him, and would not have it any other way, but it is indeed tough. You take for granted all those little things such as being able to go to the doctor or check the mail, or walk the dog alone because your husband is around to take care of the kids. Not now. Everything I do, everywhere I go, my kids are with me. To make it even more concrete, BOTH of my babysitters just moved out of state. Yeah, how’s that for irony?! Just when I MOST need “ME” time, there is no chance of getting it.

One of the other things that makes me feel successful as a mom is realizing that while i am indeed a mom, that’s not ALL I am. I have still held on to who I am as an individual, from the music I like to the movies I watch, to the people I talk with. (THANK GOD FOR THE INTERNET!) I am proud of myself. I am hardworking and motivated and dedicated, all the while still being me, and doing it my own way, with my own flair.

And while many people may think that having kids has hindered me following dreams or being “me”, I have to disagree and say that my kids make me more “me”. This is what I was meant for.

I think that is what makes me feel extraordinarily successful as mom; being happy that this is what I was meant for. This is all I need, all I want.

Inspired by Ron Hudson

Did you ever meet someone, man or woman, and you just felt like you “clicked”? I have. I tell my husband all the time that he is my puzzle piece, and that’s where I got this idea.

Puzzles are intricate things that are big and beautiful. Puzzles take time and effort to get to know in order to be complete. Puzzles are made of little pieces that come together under one or more commonalities. One puzzle piece can have a flower’s petal on one side, a bit of a barn on the other and the hood of a horse on the other. One tiny piece yet so varied, so on side it connects with another piece of flower, the other side, the horses hoof, etc.

Yet, there will be times when you stumble upon a piece that doesn’t belong. It just doesn’t fit. It’s got the wheel of a cart on it. A horse-drawn cart, but that connects about fifty pieces away from where you are at. Not all pieces will fit with yours. That’s ok, not all were meant to fit with yours. The thing is, in order to figure out what was on that piece, you had to look.

All people are worth looking at, taking notice of, trying to get to know. If you don’t get along, no big deal, be courteous, move on until you find someone you do. Because just like puzzles, we can not be complete all on our own. Whether it’s family or friends, we need others, other pieces, to be whole.

Inspired by Ron Hudson

Life is an adventure. I think too often people get too caught up in looking at the bigger picture, planning for the future, saving for a rainy day, that they forget to enjoy the road.

One of the most influential pieces of advice I was ever given was this:

“Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming, “Wow, what a ride!”"

Not only that, but people tend to feel victims of their own lives. While, yes, there are times when you are a victim in certain circumstances, you can not let you get that down, because then that is the path you, yourself are choosing. Take myself for an example. by the age of fifteen, I was in thirteen foster homes, nine orphanages, was adopted, and both parents passed away, putting me BACK into the system. I was abused in a bout every way you can imagine, and eventually ran away and was living on my own, working and paying rent at the age of sixteen.

Yeah, that was a really horrible way to grow up, and I was bitter for a while. But. I made the choice that the only way it was going to get better was if I made it better. Taking into consideration that all I wanted was what I never really had – a family. Now, at the age of twenty-five, I have everything I have ever wanted. a family – a husband with whom i am madly and deeply in love with, two beautiful children who amaze me every day, and two dogs to make it the complete American Dream.

Now, taking all that into consideration, imagine how amazing my life will be if I continue to choose my own paths and not let what happens to me dictate the next path I take, the next chapter in my life, the next blog I post.

My life is not only an adventure, it is my own.

What is your life?!